Bizarre Pinewood Derby Car

weston-boxing-deranged

It was 7pm (2-3 hours to my bedtime), and the cars needed to be completed and weighed the next day. I was going to be busy at work the day of the deadline, so there was no way to further procrastinate. I had three hours.

A few weeks earlier, Weston and I had watched Rocky IV in a hotel during a mini family vacation. Weston’s description of what he wanted was basically a supine Rocky figurine with wheels. I decided that etching Weston’s photo, posing as his favorite pugilist, would be a quick and easy solution. Although he was constantly bouncing around the house as though he was in a championship fight for the title, I don’t think he practiced any of his faces in front of a mirror. He either looked too happy, too sad (like he was losing and wanted to cry), or just completely deranged. We took about 30 photos before getting one I thought would work…then decided to use a deranged photo instead — just because it was funnier.

After etching his photo onto the car, I realized the deranged photo didn’t show his arms. Thinking Weston would be disappointed with a boxing car that doesn’t have arms with which to box, we looked through all of the toys to find some arms that might work. We nailed some arms to the block, so we could still rotate them as though Weston was swinging. In a very strange way, the arms matched Weston’s expression and his face didn’t seem any more deranged than the expressions Rocky makes during the big fights.
eye-of-the-tiger

Transformers

weston-running
The boys and I started watching the original Transformers cartoon before bed recently. Weston and Conrad are transfixed. Weston takes notes, recording all of their names and attributes, though I don’t recognize any of the names he’s written down so far. He has been singing his own interpretation of the theme song, “Transformers: more-da-me-see-eye!” Claire heard it and added, “Robots in da sky!” I tried to correct Weston, but he gave me a skeptical look — then continued as if my suggestion made no sense at all.

Neutrogena

We were watching something on hulu and a Neutrogena commercial came on. Then it came on again. And again. And again. I could never understand why they play the same commercial over and over.

We take advantage of the break to tease each other, tickle each other, or just talk. Well, this time, Weston shushed us all and watched the Neutrogena commercial with great interest. I asked him if he wanted me to buy him some Neutrogena and he said, “Well, I do want to get rid of my wrinkles.”

Weston is six years old. I guess repetition works — yikes.

Weston’s Turkey

Every Thanksgiving, the Kindergarteners at our school get to paint a life-size paper turkey and then write down their version of “How to Cook a Turkey.” Here’s Weston’s:

Go to Target and get a turkey for $50.00.
Mix together:
9 cups of garlic
5 chocolate bars
1 spoon of salt
This goes on top. Cook in the microwave for six minutes on medium. When it beeps, wash it and take the heart out. Crack the wishbone.
Eat it.

Burglar

From my bedroom, I hear a loud thud. This isn’t all that uncommon, so I keep doing whatever it was I was doing. I hear another thud. And another. I decided it was time to see what was going on. I walk in the living room and Weston has a chair from the kids’ table held high over his head. He told me the thud was from his throwing the chair. I asked him not to do that anymore and, out of curiosity, asked him why he was repeatedly picking up the chair and throwing it. He told me, in case there was a burglar, he wanted to show the burglar how strong he was.