Conrad and I are playing swords….
Con: Pretend that I cut off both your legs.
Rich: I love how you’re so polite when asking if you can cut off my legs.
Con: Pleeeeeaaase, can I cut off both your legs?
Conrad Hygiene
Lately, Conrad and Weston have been very interested in superheroes. As a result, Conrad now gives everything a superhero name. And…because of recent events, Conrad is very concerned about his “bat boogies” and washing his hands so he doesn’t catch the “Slime Flu”.
Rich gets in trouble
Background: Rich and Conrad were roughhousing. Conrad banged his foot on something…
Conrad: Papa hurt me.
Claire: Should we put him in time-out?
Conrad: No. He’d escape.
Super Chocolate
Conrad flexin’.
Con Man
It’s a mystery where this came from, but Conrad has started following everything he says with, “See?!?” He sounds like a little gambino and it makes everything the two-year-old says sound like a threat. “I want a cookie, see?” comes across like, “I want a cookie and you’re going to give it to me, see?” It helps (or doesn’t help) that he has such an intense look when he talks and often says, “I’m serious.”
Because Conrad makes it known that there are real consequences if he doesn’t get his way, it always surprises us when he doesn’t get his way and responds, “OK,” and goes about his business. He comes across tough, but he’s a softie.
Rise and Shine
I was careful to turn off all alarms the night before, but around 7:00 or so, Conrad and Julia climbed into bed with us. Not a problem…except for Julia’s aversion to bed covers and Conrad’s rapid-fire pacifier sucking. Finally, when I was close to giving up and climbing into Julia’s bed, I thought we should talk about it:
Rich: Julia, is this Conrad’s bed?
Julia: No, he’s too small.
Rich: Is this your bed?
Julia: No, I’m too medium size.
Conrad ooh ooh-ooh
Conrad has reduced the English language to the bare essentials and now carries on conversations using tones and syllables. “I love you” is now “ooh-ooh,” “Thank you” is “do-do,” and “May I have that, please?” is “do da, de”…Claire and I understand him and respond in tones and syllables. “I love you too” is “ooh-ooh ooh” and “You’re welcome” is “do do-do”.
Glamour Shots pt. 2
…to go along with the theme of Weston wearing other people’s glasses.
Flying in Style
There was a little bit of confusion about one of the rows on our flight. There were three seats but only one boarding pass. The man with the one boarding pass finally had to explain that he had purchased the three seats for himself. Our flight didn’t have a first-class section, so this was one way to guarantee a comfortable flight…or so he must have thought. It was just his luck to pick the row in front of four screaming kids (There was another couple with a four-month-old in the same row). Luckily, we didn’t have the turbulence that made Claire toss her water on the girl sitting in front of her, as was the case flying to Utah, but I imagine we weren’t his ideal neighbors. The flight attendants didn’t dare ask how he enjoyed his flight, and he was not one of the many complimenting us on our well behaved children.
Weston: I’m two.
Friendly JetBlue guy: Really, you’re big for two.
Weston: Yeah, I’m a big boy. I eat all my dinner all gone and get strong muscles.
King Con
One of our kids’ favorite pastimes is standing on the window sill and watching the people below on Broadway. Because of Conrad’s bull-legged stance, unintelligible grunting noises, and constant banging on the window, I told Claire that he looked like King Kong. Weston thought that was funny and said, “His name is Conrad, not King Con.”