Category: King Con

We were teaching the kids to jump off of the diving board. I would sit on some kind of flotation device below the diving board, waiting to catch them until they felt comfortable doing it on their own. In order to move things along, I would try and count to three. Weston and Julia both stopped me and told me they wanted to do the counting. I guess it’s a control thing.

Then it was Conrad’s turn. Once again I tried to count, and once again he wished to do the counting…and he began: 1, 2, 3…(one would expect him to jump at this point)… 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16….(He missed a couple but kept going)…17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23……(Everyone is now watching, wondering)….24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30…(Rich is wondering how high he will go and is no longer ready to catch anybody)…31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, thirty nnnniiiiiiiiiinnnnne…and he jumps.

No, it’s not my birthday.

Claire came out of Conrad’s room one night, rolled her eyes, and said, “Happy birthday. Now good night!” I asked Claire why she wished him a happy birthday. It turns out she was simply returning the good wishes. Conrad had wished her a happy birthday….and since that unbirthday, each night, Conrad wishes us a happy birthday before bed. I suspect he knows it’s not anyone’s birthday because he says it with a wry smile. To demonstrate Conrad’s influence in the family, before bed, we all now say, “Good night. Happy birthday.” Good night, Weston. Happy birthday. Good night, Julia. Happy birthday. Good night, Claire. Happy birthday.

Conrad and I are playing swords….

Con: Pretend that I cut off both your legs.

Rich: I love how you’re so polite when asking if you can cut off my legs.

Con: Pleeeeeaaase, can I cut off both your legs?

Lately, Conrad and Weston have been very interested in superheroes. As a result, Conrad now gives everything a superhero name. And…because of recent events, Conrad is very concerned about his “bat boogies” and washing his hands so he doesn’t catch the “Slime Flu”.

Conrad flexin’.

It’s a mystery where this came from, but Conrad has started following everything he says with, “See?!?” He sounds like a little gambino and it makes everything the two-year-old says sound like a threat. “I want a cookie, see?” comes across like, “I want a cookie and you’re going to give it to me, see?” It helps (or doesn’t help) that he has such an intense look when he talks and often says, “I’m serious.”

Because Conrad makes it known that there are real consequences if he doesn’t get his way, it always surprises us when he doesn’t get his way and responds, “OK,” and goes about his business. He comes across tough, but he’s a softie.