Archives: King Con

Ice Cream

The entire family is up at the cabin. It is really early in the morning. My sister is sleeping and hears a cough really close to her. She is really groggy and opens her eyes to find Conrad right next to her face, staring at her. As soon as Conrad thinks my sister is awake enough to give him a response, he asks, “Do you know where the ice cream is?”

drunken midgets King Con


Sometimes, when there are no cars and I’m on a small street, I swerve back and forth. The kids think it’s hilarious. I’m always very careful when I do this and I don’t do it very often. Conrad calls it “spinning”…

Conrad: Spin again, papa.
Rich: No, no.
Conrad: Because we could hit a tree that crashed down on a house……..long pause………let’s do it.
Rich: What’s the magic word?
Conrad: PLEASE can we spin again?
Rich: No.
Conrad: You didn’t say, “No, thank you.”

drunken midgets King Con

The Duke

Friend at Bear Lake: Hey Conrad, I like you shoes (Cowboy boots).
Conrad: Thanks. They’re John Wayne’s.

drunken midgets King Con


Conrad woke up in the middle of the night and consequently woke up Claire. Claire asked Conrad what was wrong, and a half asleep Conrad repeated softly, “I’m just really creeped out.”

drunken midgets King Con

Conrad, Smile.

drunken midgets King Con

Boggis, Bunce and Bean

[qt: 445 640]
The real version (You have to skip ahead a little):

drunken midgets King Con


Conrad told us today that he had teeny-weeny bosoms, but that he had milk. He then explained how the whole process works: a cow makes milk, we drink it, it fills up our bosoms, and we can then feed babies because that can’t hold cups yet.

King Con

The Kids…in 3D

I liked all of the photos I took of the kids in their 3D glasses, but this is my favorite because it looks like a band photo.

drunken midgets Good Ju-Ju King Con Wild West'n

Jelly Beans

It’s Easter time, so Conrad’s thoughts are mostly about Easter eggs and candy. While taking a bath, he looks down at his…uh…boys…and asks, “Do I have jelly beans in there?”

I asked Claire if I could post this on the blog and she said, “If you must.”

I must.

drunken midgets King Con


We are at a restaurant and I ask Conrad how he likes his dinner. He turns his head and says, “Well, it’s just a little pistoss.” Claire seems to understand perfectly, so I ask her what “pistoss” is. She tells me it’s just a word that Conrad has been using lately. I ask Conrad what “pistoss” means and he answers, “Pistoss means stupid.” We told the kids not to use the word “stupid” when talking about people, so Conrad made up his own.

drunken midgets King Con