Archives: King Con

Thank you!

Conrad had a basketball game yesterday. They won by 28 points. Conrad played point and did well. He scored 20 points and got about a bazillion assists. Part-way through the game, someone in the stands yelled, “Good job, Conrad!” Conrad looked back and said, “Thank you!”

Such a polite young man.

King Con

We don’t know

I don’t remember the question, but Conrad answered, “Uh UH uh.”

Rich: “Use words. How did ‘uh uh uh’ become ‘I don’t know’?”

Conrad: “Uh UH uh.”

drunken midgets King Con

Slow Down

Conrad is really into food. When we ask him what he wants for his birthday or for Christmas, the answer is often “food.” (I promise, we do feed him the rest of the year as well.) He eats every meal like it’s the first one he’s had in years. He eats quickly and doesn’t waste a crumb. Once, during dinner, I asked him to slow down as I often do. I then started talking with the other kids. A few minutes later, I noticed that Conrad appeared to be frozen in the background, his spoon held in midair. I watched him closely and noticed that he WAS moving…barely. He hadn’t had another bite but was working on it. He had simply slowed down.

drunken midgets King Con


conraddleConrad and I went for an evening bike ride to pick up some Justin’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups (pretty much my favorite treat). On our way back, we took the long path through the park. We were the only people on the trail, and there was a nice breeze. As I was riding over the bridge, I looked at the water below and thought about how good it felt to be alive, cruising through the park with my son. Conrad must have appreciated it too because, a second later, I hear him yell, “THIS IS PLEASANT!”

drunken midgets King Con

Get it Together

conrad-sandwichConrad came wandering into our room after everyone, including Conrad, had gone to bed. His eyes were half open, but he wasn’t responding to any of my questions. He just stood by me and looked around. I asked one last time, “What’s up, Conrad?” He looked off to the side while pounding his fists together like a baseball catcher, and said in a reassuring tone, “We’ve got it together.”

I laughed a little, then tried to clarify…”We? You and I have it together?” Conrad said yes, then climbed into our bed (not his own).

drunken midgets King Con

Fire Breather


Conrad drew this awesome fire-breathing creature today. The thing coming out of the back of his head is not a knife; it is a price tag (40¢). Apparently, this little guy is on sale in a pet store.

Art drunken midgets King Con


We’ve been working on Chimeras for quite a while now, so it’s good to finally have something to show for it…

Help us spread the word and, if you like it, you can preorder them here.

After filming the video, Conrad looked at us and asked, “So, are we getting any money for this?” I told him that it was a fair question — and a good question — but that he wasn’t getting paid. He paused for a second and asked a follow-up question, “Then why are we doing it?”

drunken midgets King Con

A finity

Conrad was doing a bunch of addition problems to impress everyone. He said, “A thousand plus a thousand is two thousand. Infinity plus infinity is two finity.

drunken midgets King Con


Claire: OK kids, what do you do if a stranger comes to the door?

Conrad: We say, “Eat slugs, Malfoy!”

drunken midgets King Con

The Greatest

Rather than saying “great-great-great grandfather” like the rest of us, Conrad says “greatest grandfather.” So, we all have a great grandfather, a greater grandfather, and a greatest grandfather. It makes sense (sort of) and it’s much shorter. We could even take it a step further: grandfather, grander-father, grandest-father.

drunken midgets King Con