Smaller


Conrad was sleeping, but we had to wake him up. This is what he said:

Conrad: I wanted to do it.
Rich: Do what?
Conrad: make it smaller.
Rich: Make what smaller?
Conrad: Everything I say makes sense.

I can’t talk to him when he’s like this.

Pokey

Conrad calls porcupines “pokey-pines,” because “they have so many pokies.” So, the question is, why do we call them “porcupines?” I looked up the answer:

Middle English porke despyne, from Middle French porc espin, from Old Italian…blah, blah, blah.

I like Conrad’s better. Middle French…pssshhh

Weston’s Turkey

Every Thanksgiving, the Kindergarteners at our school get to paint a life-size paper turkey and then write down their version of “How to Cook a Turkey.” Here’s Weston’s:

Go to Target and get a turkey for $50.00.
Mix together:
9 cups of garlic
5 chocolate bars
1 spoon of salt
This goes on top. Cook in the microwave for six minutes on medium. When it beeps, wash it and take the heart out. Crack the wishbone.
Eat it.

Oonle

He calls it “Oonle,” but Conrad is quite the little Uno player. When he plays at the kitchen table, he lays all of his cards out on the bench. This way, no one can tell how many cards he has left. We asked him to keep all of his cards on the table, which he tried. He had all of his cards spread out on the table, face down. When it was his turn, he turned each card over, one by one, until he found the one he wanted. It took so long that we all capitulated and let him put them back down on the bench. If it were any other kid, I would assume it was because he didn’t know what he was doing. Something tells me Conrad is just being clever about how he wins at Oonle.