Conrad noticed two dogs that were stuck together. Everyone assumed that it was a mean prank that kids did in Mexico: glue two dogs together. He sent us a photo, and, when Weston saw it, he started laughing and said it wasn’t kids glueing dogs together. Conrad and I looked really confused. Weston, sitting in the library at BYU, tried to think of the most BYU way to explain it. He said, “When dogs don’t obey the law of chastity, sometimes they get stuck.”
Much Love
Conrad leaves out some good stories in his emails, so I made a comic of one of my favorites.
Homie
Conrad recently discovered The Simpsons. I asked him what the next rubble bubble animal should be, and he suggested I do Homer. I don’t think he was being serious, but it kind of works.
Uh…OK
I guess this is what you get when Conrad arrives in a foreign country, and they tell him to write home and tell his parents that he’s OK.
Lawn Moores
The boys wanted to earn some extra cash to support their basketball habit. (We still don’t know if it should be one word or two.)
Carpet
Conrad was coming up with his own jokes. One of them involved a house and various people involved with the house. He told us about a gardener working in the garden, a cook in the kitchen, and…a carpenter installing carpet. I asked him why the carpenter was installing carpet. He said because that’s what they do. We then explained the difference between a carpenter and a carpeter. (I don’t remember the punchline to the joke.)
One Drop of Blood
When Conrad was about two, like a lot of kids, he always added voiceover as he was playing with his action figures. Unlike most kids, he would separate the story into chapters. I don’t know if he ever got beyond chapter one, but there was always a chapter one—and it was usually the same. In his most dramatic voice, he would say, “Chapter One: The Case of Batman Dies!” After that, the story would vary. One story line went as follows:
Chapter One: The Case of Batman Dies!
He had one drop of blood!
Then he fell, and the blood went back into his body.
Oh, the drama!
Disappointed
Conrad was having an exceptionally good basketball game and was nailing every shot. Literally every shot. I didn’t know the man sitting next to me, and he didn’t know I was Conrad’s dad. He noticed Conrad and muttered to himself, “Wow, that kid has a good arm.” By the end of the game, Conrad had made every shot except one free-throw.
At the end of the game, Conrad walked up to me and was excited to point out that he had made every shot. I congratulated him, but I did point out that he missed a free throw. (I always tell him that you don’t miss free throws or lay-ups.) The man sitting next to me, now realizing that I was Conrad’s dad, looked at me with wide eyes that seemed to say, “Wow, you are harsh.”
Thank you!
Conrad had a basketball game yesterday. They won by 28 points. Conrad played point and did well. He scored 20 points and got about a bazillion assists. Part-way through the game, someone in the stands yelled, “Good job, Conrad!” Conrad looked back and said, “Thank you!”
Such a polite young man.
We don’t know
I don’t remember the question, but Conrad answered, “Uh UH uh.”
Rich: “Use words. How did ‘uh uh uh’ become ‘I don’t know’?”
Conrad: “Uh UH uh.”