Conrad woke up in the middle of the night and consequently woke up Claire. Claire asked Conrad what was wrong, and a half asleep Conrad repeated softly, “I’m just really creeped out.”

It’s Easter time, so Conrad’s thoughts are mostly about Easter eggs and candy. While taking a bath, he looks down at his…uh…boys…and asks, “Do I have jelly beans in there?”

I asked Claire if I could post this on the blog and she said, “If you must.”

I must.

We are at a restaurant and I ask Conrad how he likes his dinner. He turns his head and says, “Well, it’s just a little pistoss.” Claire seems to understand perfectly, so I ask her what “pistoss” is. She tells me it’s just a word that Conrad has been using lately. I ask Conrad what “pistoss” means and he answers, “Pistoss means stupid.” We told the kids not to use the word “stupid” when talking about people, so Conrad made up his own.

I walk by as Claire is helping Conrad put his shoes on…

Claire: “That shoe goes on the other foot.”

Conrad: “No, it doesn’t!”

I assume this all got resolved until, later in the day, I notice Conrad’s shoes are on the wrong foot. The problem is, last time Conrad was over at his friend’s house with his shoes on the wrong foot, the friend’s parents teased me for it. So, this post is to let them know that I’m not to blame this time.

…a few hours later…

Claire: “Conrad, are your pants on backwards?”

Conrad: “No, they’re not!”

His little pockets were inside out (as they always are) and sticking out his rear end. So, just a little wrap up: The kid’s shoes were on the wrong foot, his pants were on backwards, and his pockets were inside out. It’s a good thing he’s funny.

When you ask Conrad to do something he doesn’t want to do, he gives you his look of defiance and says, “You are not in charge of my power.” No one is sure how to respond to that, which may have been his ruse all along. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out Conrad has super powers. The look in his eye tells me he knows much more about the universe than he’s letting on.

We stop at a light and Conrad says, “I see Santa’s car.” Claire and I look at each other, completely puzzled….then we look at the car next to us. It’s a silver sedan — doesn’t make any sense. Then we look at the driver in the car next to us — an older gentleman with a big white beard. Claire thought it would be rude to take a picture of him. Sorry.